A trip to the Farm...

We took our annual trip to Bishop's Pumpkin Farm this last week with the kids and we had a wonderful time. Hannah was finally old enough to go on "the big slide".

They added a new food area since last year and it looks beautiful. Now the only thing they need is real bathrooms. I had a hard time convincing Hannah that the "potty" didn't flush. It took her a little bit to be "ok" with the thought of actually using it, but eventually she gave in.
Altogether, it was a great day. We had a lot of fun petting the goats and seeing all the brand new baby pigs, but the best part of the day was the hayride and the search for our pumpkins. Riley wasn't so sure about the hay though.

Going to a farm and looking for pumpkins doesn't seem like a very exciting family outing. However, for us it was a special time where we built memories like watching our kids holding hands, walking through the pumpkin patch, or seeing the look on Riley's face as we went through the dark tunnel while on the train.

As expected, this day was one of the highlights of our year together as a family.

One that we won't soon forget.

A Reminder

We just went through our seventh miscarriage (3 before Hannah, 3 before Riley, and this one). On one hand, we are used to this. We know the drill, and we are hoping that the process moves quickly so we can be on our way; so to speak. Still, there is that part of us that is mourning both the loss of the baby, and the seemingly fruitless pursuit of the ever-illusive solution to our problem. It's a tough time for us right now. However, God is good! How do I know this? Because last night I had the honor of watching my wife and my daughter go through a preschool activity book. On the surface, that doesn't sound like much. However, for me, the great thing about sitting there watching them was that I was able to see a bigger picture. My daughter is growing up. Yeah, I know that she's just coloring an apple in a book (by coloring an "apple" I mean coloring the entire page including the apple!), but she's learning. I get to watch her daily explore, discover, and figure out how this whole "life" thing really works. Tell me that isn't an amazing thing!

Lord, thank You for the reminder that life is about more than our tragedies. Let these moments give me strength and encouragement. Let me cherish them and, as I do, let me give You the honor. Amen.

~Ryan

Difficult news

After our repeat ultra sound today we were again told that there was a gestational sac but no heart rate or even a baby that they could see. We were told to stop all my medications and wait to miscarry the baby which should happen within a week or so. This news was difficult to hear. Each time we feel like we may have solved the "miscarriage" problem, it seems like a new one arises. Please pray with us that God gives us the strength and healing to make it through these next few days and weeks and that He gives us the courage to try again.

Well........

....... We have received what could be bad news after our ultra sound today. The doctor is dating this pregnancy at much smaller than it should be. We saw a "gestational sac" but no "fetal pole" or heartbeat. The doctor said that he was concerned that this pregnancy is not progressing and scheduled us to go back again on Saturday morning for another ultra sound. So of course I am crushed to hear this news and very nervous about Saturday. Please pray with us that everything turns out right or, if not, that God holds us close. We'll update later when we have more information.

Our first ultra sound tomorrow

We have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow in Roseville for our first ultra sound and I have to admit that I am excited but very nervous! We get to see our baby's heart beat and make sure that he or she is growing properly and I just hope that everything is fine. I lay awake for a couple of hours last night worrying about what might happen or imagining something bad and then I was reminded that God doesn't want us to have anxiety and that I should give my thoughts to Him.

God,
It says in Your Word that You do not want us to worry or have anxiety about anything but that we should instead pray to You about everything and tell You what we need, so here I am! Please help me to have peace about my appointment tomorrow, help me sleep tonight and help everything to turn out fine. Help our baby to have a strong heartbeat and measure exactly as he or she should. But God if we do get bad news please be with me. Help me to surrender control to You and trust that Your plans are much bigger than ours. Help me to trust.